


Extracts from the scientific notebook of Paul-Gabriel Joly, 1830

by shellcollector



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Bad Decisions, Deliberate self poisoning, Friendship, Herbalism, Homeopathy, Multi, Terrible Nineteenth Century Medicine, in the interests of Science of course
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-24 16:00:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14957696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shellcollector/pseuds/shellcollector
Summary: In the midst of political turmoil, Joly practices empiricism, 19th century style.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bobcatmoran](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bobcatmoran/gifts).



**Monday 22nd March**  
  
T: crimson, tender at tip. P: 102  
B in situ  
  
Beginning of the week and already somewhat feverish. Much excitement which I will not write of here. Pulse high, attacks of dizziness, feeling of airy lightness. Filled with enthusiasm and a sense of preparation. In quiet moments I have been rereading the _Organon_ — it is the older edition as there is still no French translation of last year’s update — I have a copy but I never had a head for languages. Asked B to read aloud and translate for me but he would keep making jokes — I do not usually mind but I am trying to get some things clear in my head and he is terribly distracting. Unfortunately my irritation never results in anything but increased teasing — the session ended with me incapacitated with laughter and the object entirely forgotten.  
  
However, I am more and more convinced that, as Hahnemann says, we must found our practice on an empirical familiarity with the materia medica themselves. It is only by experimentation that we can truly acquaint ourselves with their effects. We are passing beyond the age of authority and into uncharted waters — M would say I am mixing my metaphors, but I mean to say, this is a new era of discovery. Hahnemann has laid a foundation, but we cannot learn as the English doctors do through lectures and books — we are observers of nature.  
  
Have obtained 500g of bones and an equal quantity of oil of vitriol for the preparation of phos. acid  
  
**Tuesday 23rd March**  
  
T: pinkish, uneven in colour P: 87  
B departed for JP, see below  
  
Used my good hammer to break up the bones, wrapped in a shirt; I was sure it was one of my old ones but B says it was his. At any rate the shirt is mostly undamaged and only needs a little laundering to remove the grits. A few minutes after I had begun, B began to hold his head comically and asked whether I ought to be noting down the headache the phos. acid had already given him.  
  
I asked if he would in fact like to volunteer as a subject - it would be most convenient to have two sets of observations rather than only one. He said that he would be delighted to, if he had not promised to stay with Prouvaire for a few days, a terrible shame to miss such an opportunity. I asked when he would be back  & he said ‘oh you know probably when you have done Experimenting.’  
  
He went to get his clothes and this is when we made the discovery concerning the shirt. I have lent him one of mine but the sleeves are too short.  
  
**Wednesday 24th March**  
  
T: paler pink, tip less sensitive than before but still markedly red. Some buds prominent, irregular pattern. P: 82  
B still away  
  
Finished breaking up the bones and mixed them with the vitriol in a porcelain jar as directed — I have used the one from the mantelpiece — it can easily be cleaned afterwards I suppose. I have been stuck at home stirring the thing — it must be regularly agitated with a glass rod over the next 24 hours. I am less feverish than before but still overwhelming feeling of impatience keeps overtaking me — I need to study and write up my notes from today’s rounds but the excitement makes it hard to settle. I understand B cannot break promises but it is awfully tedious here without him — I wish M would come but she is visiting her mother.  
  
(later)  
  
Sudden appearance of E interrupted my work — this has to do with the excitement I spoke of — he stayed here for above an hour, and gave me some materials to take charge of for a while, so I suppose I got my entertainment.  
P:94, very sharp and hard  
  
**Thursday 25th March**  
  
T: colour more even. buds clearly delineated. P: 84  
B here for the night only, he says  
  
The first stage of the chemical preparation completed, I needed brandy for the second, and so I thought I would stop by G’s to beg a bottle as I knew he had a few around. This ended in a very enjoyable evening but the brandy was inadvertently all consumed, and the second bottle we went out for also. We went to Bh’s in search of more and found JP there and also B, who came home with me. I mixed the solution into a 1l bottle of brandy, as provided by Bh, and was decanting it into a linen bag when B began loudly objecting that he had thought I was done with the bones now. I said that I was done with the bones qua bones (since they are quite dissolved) but that the experiment was far from over, whereupon B announced that he was leaving in the morning and would leave at once if only he were sober.  
  
We almost came to an argument over it, but then I needed him to help me hanging the bag from the ceiling strapped between wooden boards, as this is the recommended method of filtration — so that occupied us for a bit. Placed bathtub below to collect exudate. Somehow B has managed to get a small amount of the solution on his hands, which meant that afterwards we were far too busy washing them down with water and bandaging him up and so on to continue with our disagreement. He is asleep now and snoring a little, I shall sleep too after I have finished writing this. ~~I am very fond~~ sometimes I forget that this is only a scientific record. My hands are very steady but I suppose I did have a good amount of brandy after all. I shall have a bad head in the morning.  
  
**Friday 26th March**  
  
T: furred, dull P: 80, irregular, sharp  
B left this morning  
  
Missed rounds this morning as I was feeling too ill to leave my bed. In the afternoon I had a little task given to me by E, which took so long in the end that I was not able to study very much. I don’t think I shall do well in my exams this year. My health is better but there are so many interruptions.  
  
**Saturday 27th March**  
  
T: clearing, pink P: 87  
B still at JP’s I think  
  
Went to see Cb as I wanted a steel rod. Have decided that while the phos. acid is preparing I shall make detailed observations of the application of magnetic poles to the body for brief periods as set out in the _Materia Medica Pura_. Cb sure he had one of substantial diameter ‘somewhere in here’ but took some time hunting for it amongst his posessions. It was discovered eventually in plain sight, as he had used it to lay out crocodile bones on the floor. He says he is interested in the generation of limbs in reptiles, and has been trying to obtain crocodile eggs in order to dissect embryonic specimens. I have promised that if I ever see an injured lizard I will bring it to him. I speculated that the magnetic fields would, much like the steel rod itself, provide an armature around which the developing body might build itself. The human embryo grows at a 90 angle to the earth’s magnetic field and perhaps it is by this means that the upright habit is maintained from one generation to the next. My own debility of the pelvic limb being, perhaps, a result of Mamma’s too early bedrest — Cb said this was not impossible. Having found the rod, said he would come back with me to make observations.  
  
We magnetised the rod using regular strokes from a heavy horseshoe magnet, the largest in my possession. As my pulse is still a little high, tending towards fever, and in accordance with the homeopathic principle, I let Cb apply the Australian pole of the magnetised rod all along the length of my torso, for a period of five seconds overall. However, even this would seem to have been excessive, as I began within minutes to shiver as if in the rigors of incipient feverish illness, and my pulse rose above ninety and then above a hundred, my breath becoming more rapid and hot. I then began to feel a spreading ache in my knees, and in particular the one which is already affected became hot and throbbing so that it was difficult to walk or even stand. I directed Cb to the presence of a small ‘filled’ Leiden jar on my shelf, and when he brought it to me I applied a few small sparks to both hands, whereupon the shivering ceased and my pulse began again to fall. I say ‘it would seem to have been excessive’, but truthfully I am not sure that we did not select the incorrect pole, or that a non-polar application of the magnet in line with the body would not have been more appropriate. Asked Cb for his opinion re: this, but he said we would need to submit it to more experimentation. As my phos. acid is near ready I said that we might have to delay until I had time for a more lengthy investigation.  
  
When Cb had left I felt very despondent and somewhat resentful of B’s insistence on staying elsewhere. Uncharitable thoughts towards JP despite my certain knowledge of his goodness. I attribute this to the incorrect application of the magnet, or possibly to the derangement of my system after use of the Leiden jar.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joly uses the definition of 'fever' whereby it is synonymous with an elevated pulse rate, any body temperature change being seen as secondary. This was a distinct school of thought regarding the fundamental nature of fevers.
> 
> He is reading the _Organon of Medicine_ and the _Materia Medica Pura_ by Samuel Hahnemann, the founder of homeopathy. The latter really does include 'Magnets' as a remedy, with separate categories for the North (or Arctic) pole and South (or Australian) poles, as well as the whole magnet. One suggested remedy for 'overdose' is indeed a shock from a Leiden jar. The fact that the homeopaths observed the same kinds of really strong symptoms from applying magnets to themselves as they did from ingesting various potentially fatal poisons is something I don't even know where to start with. It seems to have been quietly dropped as a homeopathic remedy at some point.
> 
> A 'pelvic limb' is just a leg, why are nineteenth century scientists Like This, do they not think about double entendres at all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sunday 28th March**  
  
T: deep pink, vessels on underside dark P: 87  
B away  
  
Filtered fluid now entirely clear, without any cloudiness. Syrupy consistency. Evaporated off using an angled condenser flask. Distinct scent of ozone in apartment; I became somewhat light-headed. Wished that someone could be there to assist me. Cb is at the hospital today. I opened the windows and hoped that the ozonic air would prove healthful; it was not altogether unpleasant if dizzying. When most of the solution had reduced down, I heated the remaining over flame in a small dish. The air became very soon quite bad and unsalutory. I coughed considerably while reducing down to clear melted phosphoric acid. Let it congeal, then broke into crystals and bottled. My lungs at this point required me to leave the building.  
  
Felt very sorry for myself so went to Cfc’s for dinner. An excellent stew.  
  
**Monday 29th March**  
  
T: A few small cracks and a little coating towards the throat P: 80  
Do not know where B is.

I was somewhat sleepless last night as could not decide whether to keep window open — risking chill from night air etc — or closed — with lingering doubts as to the quality of the air inside my rooms. Nonetheless, although tired this morning I seem to be as well as I ever am and thus in a good position to begin the observation.  
  
As this is an experiment to observe the artificial effects of the phos. acid on the healthy body, I shall not be using a homeopathic dilution. However, the solution of phosphoric acid produced by dissolving a crystal in ordinary water was strong enough to blister the skin when I applied a small droplet to the back of my hand. Accordingly, I began conservatively with a 20% solution. Drank a small beakerful at 11am; flavour sour, astringent. Observations as follows:  
  
11:01 Eyes watering, burning pain moving along tongue. Reflexive contortions of the face, which had followed immediately upon drinking, have still not abated.  
11:05 Mouth inflamed. Curdling sensation in abdomen. Continuation of discharge from eyes — clear, watery. Eyes smarting, examined in mirror and observed to be red and the lids somewhat swollen.  
11:10 Stomach sour, burning pain inside of lower lip. Inner surface of both cheeks has a number of small blisters. Eyes continue to water profusely. Gums red with whitish edges.  
11:15 Eyes no longer watering, although vision somewhat blurred. I went to lie down, taking this notebook with me, and will continue in pencil.  
11:20 Gums tender  
11:30 Pupils greatly dilated. Moderate, drawing pain in abdomen, extending in a line from ventral to dorsal surface as if a hot needle or poker were threaded through the stomach.  
11:45 Breath sour. Nausea beginning in the throat, which has a ‘scraped’ feeling about it. Headache around temples.  
12:00 Coughing similar to that occurring yesterday, almost like a reactivation of previous injury. Felt hoarse and painful; further scraping in throat, like broken glass. Momentary feeling that I might choke, but rather than producing any fear I am overcome with a listlessness and weak despair.  
12:20 Nausea creeping around the back of my throat. Feel sick and alone; an overwhelming sense of regret.  
13:00 Desire to expel stomach contents but no motivation to move my body. Pain stronger. The depression of my nerves is absolute. I cannot shake the feeling that some error has been made, or a sort of generalised desire to rewind time, as one might turn the key on a clock.  
13:17 Began vomiting some time ago — 10m?  
13:21 I Am So Very Tired  
13:28 blood in vomitus — Pain — exhaustion

  
10:07pm M is such a dear girl. I had quite forgotten that she was returning today, and in any case thought she would rest at home and send word to me before coming by. She came here at around 2, I believe, or perhaps a quarter to. The landlady, with whom she is fast friends, let her in, and she found me very ill. Sent for Cb and told him to notify B, as she did not know where he was and I was somewhat confused. B arrived first — I said (or rather whispered, as my voice was very hoarse) “B you may want to leave as I am afraid the experiment is not over”, to which B replied “That is where you are wrong my dear Joly; it is definitely over.”  
M at first baffled at this, so B explained. I think it was at around this time that she became somewhat hysterical — the nervous shock perhaps finally becoming evident. Cb then arrived amidst the confusion — I do not now understand, thinking back, how it was that B had managed to overtake him. Gave me a sodium bicarbonate solution, administered slowly 1tsp/10minutes, and then after two hours a peppermint tisane. Also gave smelling salts to M. Stayed for several hours as I was very weak. Took my pulse regularly; I have pasted his notes onto the facing page.  
B very jolly, with his arm around me. M less jolly but very attentive. My nerves are still very oppressed, and I ache so — but I must be careful in case I am seen writing this down as B and M seem to have decided between them that I am to make no more Observations today. I am not such an ungrateful wretch as to wish to disobey them utterly — and I can hardly deny that what I wish most is to be comforted, and to sleep.  
  
**Tuesday 30th March**  
  
T: greyish patches, the rest smooth and tender P: 70  
B here.  
  
I am still very weak and so am writing this from bed. B went out to get breakfast (I am allowed to take bread and milk only) and M and I quarrelled. I think it is very unfair as my voice is still too raw to express myself properly — but she is so very unreasonable sometimes and does not take things like this into account. After she had spoken quite heatedly and energetically for a long time, I whispered that I found it quite absurd that she was happy to countenance any sort of recklessness for love, or Poetry, or simply because death Called To The Soul  &c &c, but that she did not consider Science worth laying one’s life down for. I had thought this might make her see reason, but it only made her more angry.  
  
On reflection perhaps I should not have alluded to loss of life after all, since I had no intention of risking mine through this exercise — I suppose things like this have been on my mind lately, what with everything.  
  
When B arrived M said she was going out ‘for some air’ — he did not ask why but fed me spoonfuls of bread and milk while he enjoyed the same loaf with a fine cheese. Then I wept a little, and slept for several hours. I forgot to say that I had a rather uneasy night, with frequent wakings. Well, I have been sleeping today.  
  
M came back later, perhaps a little sheepish? I do not know. We have not discussed it. I suspect we still disagree, fundamentally, on the importance of Science - or perhaps on something else. I am too tired for further investigation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The _Materia Medica Pura_ contains a very clear set of instructions for the preparation of phosphoric acid, although I had to look up some chemistry resources to make sure it made sense. It does, but the later parts also super shouldn't be done outside of a fume cupboard. Don't you love the nineteenth century? I know I do. 
> 
> It's actually in some ways one of the hm... Less Bad things Joly could have tried out; it's pretty much just an acid. Small amounts are still used to flavour drinks; at a higher concentration, it's bad for you in exactly the ways that you would expect drinking acid to be bad for you. 10-25% concentrations are classed as 'irritating' rather than corrosive, although of course that's still a very unpleasant experience. But he's gonna be fine.


	3. Chapter 3

**Friday 2nd April**  
  
T: Red, still patches of discolouration/ulceration P:78  
B barely outside this past week, I am worried he will get a headache  
  
As I have more or less regained my strength, I have arranged with Cb to visit a contact of his tomorrow, a plant breeder, who may be able to obtain samples of some of the other materia.  
  
I have prepared a trillion-fold dilution of phos. acid; I feel that following my own experiences I have a strong sense of its potential use as a remedy for both constitutional and acute cases. Intend to carry on experiments with further samples. I have not mentioned this to B. Perhaps Cfc could take him to lunch? I do not know how to engineer this so that it seems natural.  
  
**Saturday 3rd April**  
  
T: Outlines of healed ulcers ringed with red. Some still remain, raw and burning but not so painful as before. P: taken at intervals, extremely variable, ranging from 79-93  
B busy but to return this evening  
  
I am in luck; B needed to carry out some essential tasks in children’s educational programme. I walked to Cb’s rooms, only stopping a few times as I was somewhat chilled and the musculature of both pelvic limbs is weakened by bedrest — this unsteadies my gait, since the right side is less able to compensate. Also somewhat dyspnoeic; spring asthma perhaps beginning again. And with winter having only just left off!  
  
Cb says his contact is a fruit grower — they have been corresponding recently as Cb is interested in the traits of plants and their transmission from mother to child. He has been doing his own experiments — I confess that I was much amused by the image of Cb delicately stroking at the generative organs of plants — but he is no gardener. I saw the specimens myself; very much browned about the leaves, a consequence, he says, of intermittent watering. If they will flower he wants to observe the propagation of colour etc from the parent — but they sulkily refuse to flower. He laughed this off but I think he is frustrated. He has been reviewing some of the notes taken by his correspondent while developing a new plum — very detailed and suggestive.  
  
While we walked together to the botanist’s house, he talked with me — or rather to me, since I was too breathless to interrupt, even if I were capable of interrupting Cb when he is excited, which I am not! — or rather I do not dare! — at any rate, he talked with or to or at me about the propagation of characteristics through the generations — the hybridisation of species or varieties creates uniformity and vigour in the first generation of children, but subsequently they will not ‘breed true’, and the grandchildren of these unions, when the first generation are bred with each other, are irregular, mongrel creatures, within which there may be perhaps 1 or 2 resembling either the parent or one of the original progenitors.  
  
This is more perplexing even than the watering down of characteristics, being both unpredictable and hard to explain; if the parent’s form is not strong enough to shape the direct offspring, how should it reappear in that offspring’s offspring? In what manner or substance might it have been preserved? And does it — at this point Cb became somewhat philosophical, as he is wont — present an allegory for the change or overhaul in general — if we understood these principles better might we have a sense of what it would take to produce a structural alteration that itself would ‘breed true’ — a permanent hybrid, as it were — et cetera  
  
We arrived at the little house near Saint-Sulpice, full of these conundra. I, turning over in my head an idea of homeopathic inheritance - the dilution, be it four-fold or ten-thousandfold, of the original form, preserving and in some instances strengthening its hold over the matter of the body — hence the observed atavism. I did not have the chance to discuss this with Cb who anyway I am sure will say that more experimentation is needed — perhaps he is right. And how might one draw lessons from that? ~~Perhaps we should place the XXXXXX into a barrel of water, and shake them up a great deal, and then divide and dilute successively until we have a clear solution that could be dispatched to every province, in a bottle —~~  
  
I had not pictured that the botanist would be such a little, old, white-bearded, mild man. He would have us in for tea — and seeing my shortness of breath, was much concerned. I was to rest on the sofa — he brought out some cake, which I had to decline, my mouth being somewhat tender — he exclaimed that he had just the remedy, some sliced roots of a species of Baptisia, or American Indigo, which he had obtained in the hope of hybridising it with the Japanese indigo plants he is trying to acclimatise to the French soil. He had read that it was also excellent for the healing of wounds, ulcers and sore throats. Allowed him to make me a tisane.  
  
He also gave me a plant in a pot — a little bushy stem with large leaves, I have drawn it on the facing page; the root is used by the Hindus as a yellow dye, and to treat many diseases, among them those of the lungs, he must find the book so that he can read to me about it — at this Cb became excited and began talking of the Ayur Veda. The botanist and he must have talked for upwards of an hour about the Ayur Veda. I kept wanting to interrupt that I did not know anything about the Ayur Veda and would find it easier to follow the conversation if someone would only tell me what the Ayur Veda might be; but it was easier to sip at my tisane, which was quite soothing, so much so that I quite forgot myself and became very drowsy again.  
  
It was only when I was home and B asked about the plant in a pot, that I remembered quite suddenly that I had intended to get some more plant materials from the botanist for my experiments, and that Cb had altogether failed to remind me to do so — I must have exclaimed in frustration, and B quite leapt to my side and asked if I had been eating acid again. I denied it, but it was difficult for me to explain myself without revealing a great deal of what I _had_ been intending to eat — he joined me on the sofa and put his arm around me, in that way he has which always heralds _something_ — we talked as follows:  
  
B: Now, J. You have been telling me for upwards of half an hour about the coming on of your spring asthma, and have been asking me to listen to your chest even though you know I do not know what on earth chests ought to sound like and even though I have never been able to describe the sounds to you to anybody’s satisfaction  
Me: But you know what a Wheeze sounds like!  
B, darkly: I do. Now, haven’t you have also been telling me that the real value of Experiment is to determine the effect of the — let us not call it a poison, let us call it a substance — on the healthy human body?  
Me: Yes, and —  
B: And do you think that a body in which a Wheeze such as yours is a healthy human body?  
Me: Oh, I see they will make a lawyer of you yet! (nb: I said this on purpose to be hurtful)  
  
We have come to an agreement that I will halt all experiments until I am entirely well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joly has a dodgy left leg and asthma that follows mysterious patterns - it's worst in the spring and in the countryside, and after emotional upsets. What could possibly explain this?
> 
> The part written as ~~XXXXXX~~ represents a series of crossings out in the original manuscript; it is difficult to tell what the word beneath them could have been.
> 
> The plant Joly was given is turmeric. It grows very well indoors in pots.


	4. Chapter 4

**Monday 19th April**

T: coated, especially towards the middle P: 85  
B swears he will be back tomorrow  
  
Have been trying to find time to recommence experiments but it is difficult these days as when I am not attending to my own studies I am thinking about the children’s education which is very demanding just at present. I feel I am constantly on the edge of collapse but the excitement gets me through. Today JP made another attempt to steal away the plant the botanist gave me, impugning my ability to care for it. When I refused — I have seen how many have died under his care, after all! — he took B from me, ostensibly on some highly important business.  
  
Small sketch of my little Maramanjal on the next page — it is growing very big! when it seems to die back and the leaves yellow and wilt, I can divide the root; it does well in a decoction. It is warming; good for lungs and colds, phlegmy ailments and the like.  
  
I shall take excellent care of it, and put JP to shame, and then he will be sorry!  
  
**Tuesday 20th April**  
  
T: scalloped edge, somewhat coated, pink P:82  
B is here again  
  
I ought to keep a record, at least, of the most fundamental observations — it cannot be so hard to do this every day  
   
**Thursday 27th May**  
T: deep puce to magenta, centre line almost a fissure P:86  
B here, although neither of us slept well  
  
Do not have much time to write but thought I should make an effort to restart this journal. Excitement continues.  
  
**Friday 30th July**  
  
T: deep red, almost violet P: 92  
B in next room.  
  
Well, there is no reason why we should not pick ourselves up; after all is done there are still many things to be hopeful for — many reasons why the progress of science must continue, and with it humanity, and with humanity France — we are bruised but not destroyed. I shall recommence my experiments with renewed vigour, for there is no error so big it cannot be corrected, and no correction so painful it does not recede in the view of history. I remember when they strapped up my leg for a full year, in the hopes that it would grow a little straighter; I thought I should never be over it, but now my memories of that time are for the most part only flashes and pictures, with only a handful of longer episodes - I can run through the whole twelve months in only a few minutes. Of course I was a child then, but I mean to say, there is so much we can continue to work on, and if we I keep thinking of the future — oh! B is calling me. I must go.  
  
**Tuesday 3rd August**  
  
T: pale, much furred P: 95  
B in chair in corner reading  
  
I only wish I were less unwell — I have had a head-ache these past two days, and my lungs are very bad — have had 2 episodes of dyspnoea today already, the second worse. I am resting in bed for now. It may be the beginnings of dropsy — there is a puffiness to my limbs which is suggestive.  
  
  
**Thursday 5th August**  
  
T: Almost white at back of mouth P:102  
B gone to get Cb  
  
— his insistence not mine, I feel I ought to say — I was feeling very ill again and began speaking of the patients I had seen in the hospital with dropsy, how the condition began and how it manifested — I had narrated the third death when B reached for his coat and hat, joking as usual but very pale. I suppose that my friends are beginning to despair of my ever recovering!  
  
(Later)  
Well, Cb says he believes I will not die. He declared that the root is ‘very likely nervous’, as if that should comfort me.  
  
B lost hat somewhere, also key. But was followed in by stray cat, so not a wasted journey. Tomorrow I shall begin again.  
  
**Saturday 21st August**  
  
T: very pale, scalloping, fissured P:78  
B staying with G  
  
I am very listless and cold and my throat is sore. Have been dosing myself with the phos. acid preparation according to homeopathic principles. Not sure how often to dose but am treating this as an acute illness as constitutionally it is something of an aberration — witness my pulse which is usually at least a little febrile — now it only rises during attacks of asthma. I am grateful for my previous experiments now — looking over the notes it is striking how clearly the picture of a phos. acid illness fits my current state.  
  
M came over but these last few weeks she is alternately irritable and morbid. Sometimes the latter mood suits me but not today.  
  
**Sunday 22nd August**  
  
T: very thickly furred P: 79  
B is returned!  
  
I am getting a cold, and it is not yet September.  
  
**Monday 23rd August**  
  
T: inflamed, sore throat extends to back of mouth P:80  
B out, back soon  
  
I am quite miserable. Very tired, limbs cold even in the summer warmth, and my nose altogether congested. I am sure this will descend into my lungs — do not see how I am to escape it, with my entire respiratory system so debilitated. Took more phos. acid, and B has gone out for champagne as it is clear that a stimulating course of treatment is called for — I may have renounced allopathic medicine, but I will make an exception for champagne.  
  
**Monday 1st November**  
  
T: pale, with white patches P:77  
B just back after a week w/ Bh  
  
It is already November! What a wretched time the last few months have been. I thought I should at least have done better in my studies, but I have already missed far too many lectures and quite despair of catching up. I have done no new experiments, made no new discoveries, and I wish I could say that I had done great work towards rebuilding our little enterprise after recent disappointments, but I do not feel I have accomplished much at all; even the smallest things seem to have gone awry somehow. Both B and M, I suppose, are each in their own way a comfort, even if I do wish B would not lose any more of my room keys.  
  
I feel I have had the same cold, on and off, since the autumn began. Oh! and the plant the botanist gave me is finally dying  
  
**Tuesday 2nd November**  
  
T: Still patchy and etiolated in appearance P:78  
B is in bed beside me  
  
What a fool I am! In my despondency I had quite forgotten what the botanist had told me i.e. that the Maramanjal is somewhat deciduous  & this winter dying back means that the roots are at last ready to harvest! I dug it up and divided the rhizome, replanting only a small piece, as I was directed — it should grow again in the spring. Sliced a part of the rest into water, and it has been boiling gently for perhaps half an hour. B says he does not like the smell, but I find it rather pleasant.  
  
B and I are v cosy here. He when he was at Bh’s, F came over to discuss something quite excitedly, for once not the pan-European situation or its historic precedents — he seemed, B says, to be smiling for first time in months — Cb has proposed to him that we should all lend our efforts towards the educational programme at the Necker & Enfants Malades which is miserably short-staffed. B is very tickled at our educating children in actuality — I am too delighted at the prospect to be resentful that Cb should discuss this first with F and not me — it is good to have something to work towards that has nothing to do with the ~~XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX~~. I have been so sad these last few months  & the others too.  
  
I am drinking the decoction — it is quite bitter but warming, a strange combination — perhaps the bitterness has something of the homeopathic about it. It stains my mouth and chin yellow! B very amused until I spilt some on his one good shirt — I can feel my symptoms lightening. Very soothing upon the throat, and like all bitters it stimulates the appetite so I shall have to send B out for some dinner — not yet though I want him to myself here for a while longer.  
  
**Wednesday 3rd November**  
  
T: more even, pinker. was alarmed by deep yellow colour until I recalled the reason. P:82  
B is working quietly at the other side of the room - some translations I think.  
  
I have drunk more of the decoction and find it to be excellent, a good winter tonic and a capital way of clearing the head. I felt like walking around Paris for the first time in months so B and I went for a stroll — we were joined by M and then, later, by a small tabby who walked beside us very daintily — something in her gait reminded me of M  & I told her so.  
  
We found ourselves in the region of Saint-Sulpice so it occurred to me that we might call upon the botanist and update him on the progress of the Maramanjal. But when we came to the house it was quite different, the roses all torn up. I knocked on the door and asked the current inhabitant (an elderly woman w. a very sour demeanour) if she knew of the botanist and where he might be — she denied all knowledge and would not hear me speak of a forwarding address. Neighbours, when questioned, remember the botanist very fondly but do not know where he could have gone. He resigned his churchwardenship earlier in the year. I must ask Cb if he has any news about where he could have gone to — I should like to thank him.  
  
**Thursday 4th November**  
  
T: pink tinged with yellow P:85  
B and M in bed, I am to join them so I cannot take too long over this —  
  
Well, the only news is that Cb has no information regarding the botanist, who said he was moving  & promised to write with a new address but never did so. Oh also other news is that we have made arrangements towards our educational programme — I mean the real one this time — oh I have created such a confusion in this journal and I apologise for it! Bh full of suggestions, some of them more suitable than others. I think F is to be in charge of the main curriculum so we await our orders!  
  
I wish with all my heart that we might find our friend again. Well, I am feeling cheery today, so I trust that we will — even Paris is not so large a city that a man can stay lost forever. The pot of earth on my windowsill itself represents a promise — the dormant root underneath is only sleeping. I am so looking forward to the spring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maramanjal is the Tamil name for the turmeric plant
> 
> Champagne was, in fact, really used as a stimulating medicine. I suppose because it is fizzy, who knows really.


End file.
